SPAM IT, I’M HUNGRY!

But… Seriously
Ajay Hotchandani

When I hear the word spam I used to think of a nice spam and mayonnaise sandwich on toasted white bread and a side of chips. Now I hear the word spam and its related to my email rather than my stomach.

Someone would have to have quite a bit of advertising money to fill your regular postbox with junk mail, so it was almost unheard of to get junk mail as part of your real mail. Before Gmail created an amazing spam filter, I was on hotmail and it became unbearable to check my email. It’s almost as though my email had be hijacked by digital pirates.

It’s been a while since I last saw what constitute spam mail, so let’s do a digital forensic analysis of some spam emails. Here is a list of some of the most spammed about topics.

Medication: One of the emails read, “He is so ‘big’. Get you free trial order of BlastXL penis enlargement pills, just pay shipping!” How do you reply to this? “Dear stranger selling me medication. Yes I do have a small reproductive organ and wish to enlarge it. Here is my money, please send me some random pill, which I will take and trust you with my life.” The next pill is for “all natural weight loss”. If it was natural wouldn’t it just occur and not be in a pill form? Apparently most of the drugs come from Canada.

Money Scams: One email scam has become so popular that has earned the name the “Nigerian 419” scam. The email basically says send us money and we will send you more money, something crazy like $8 million dollars. “Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Federal Government of Nigeria, The United Nations and also the FBI and including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $135.” You would think, why are they still sending this? Here is the reason why, because someone is naïve enough to fall for it. But what gets me with this one is that they even say “Take note that anyone asking you for some kind of money above the usual fee is definitely a fraudster and you will have to stop communication with every other person if you have been in contact with any.” So obviously you can trust these guys.

Breast Enlargement: This one really bothered me because if you are going to send me junk mail, at least make it relevant to me. Not that I’m interested in purchasing medication from a very reputable guy selling medication from his basement (at least not right now) nor am I interested in becoming a millionaire (at least not right now), but if I wanted to do either, then those emails would be something I would explore. But sending me an email saying, “Guaranteed to increase, lift and firm your breasts in 60 days, or your money will be returned!”

There are thousands of emails out there trying to get your attention, most of them promising you something bigger. Years ago someone in China and India got an email saying, “Guaranteed to increase the size of your country’s population- CLICK HERE!”

Tags: Ajay Hotchandani, But... Seriously

Category: Opinion