Momma knows best

Reams and reams have been written about the beloved mother-son relationship. But is enough said about those mothers that rule the lives of their sons, who are well into adulthood?

If you have seen Siddharth- Genelia starrer Bommarillu, there’s a brilliant monologue towards the end of the film which begins with the famous words “Motham Meere Chesaaru.” (You did everything). The protagonist vents his frustration over how his father has been making decisions on his behalf even after he’s mature enough to do what he wants. For a major chunk of Indians, it could very well be our mothers. When William Ross Wallace wrote his famous poem titled The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Is the Hand that Rules the World, he clearly didn’t see where the world, filled with dominating mothers, was heading. It’s quite intriguing when you think about the kind of relationship which mothers have with their sons. Although the decision maker is usually the father, in most Indian families, mothers wield a supreme power. Tears. Emotional blackmail. Questions like ‘Are these the moral values you have learnt all these years?’, ‘When will you ever become a responsible son?’, ‘Why are you hell bent on spoiling your father’s reputation?’ and the quirkiest of all, ‘The neighbours, relatives and family friends are asking about what you are doing and why you have chosen this profession. What am I supposed to tell them?’ plague us. And all we can come up with is, ‘Yes ma. I know and I am sorry.’ It happens all the time and more so, if you have strayed away from the conventions laid down by the society in terms of job, behaviour and money among many other things.

Sentimentalism, a trait ingrained in our DNA, becomes a bait which we end up chewing every time there’s an argument. The moment you think of revolting at home, you are branded as a black sheep. After all, you owe a lot to your parents for everything they have done since your birth. Unlike the West, where teenagers leave their homes before they turn 16, freedom is not a common factor in Indian households. We end up depending on our parents for almost everything till we land in a job. Right when you begin to get the taste of freedom, mothers drop the bomb. ‘When will you get married?’ we are asked. We are taught to always respect our parents and oblige to what they say, since they are more noble and wise than we are. True. But how wise is it to expect today’s generation to follow the footsteps and lifestyle of a generation which was born a decade after India’s independence? My mother’s favourite story, which she tells me without fail every time I try to have my way, goes something like this, “We had to beg our parents for months, if we wanted to watch a film. The ticket price used to be `2 back then and it used to be such a big deal for us. You end up writing about movies for a living and spend most of your money on movies!” The only thing I end up doing is #facepalm without being impolite. Do I have a choice?

Believe it or not, mothers have the power to pull all the strings to make us what we were when we were toddlers. It’s so much fun arguing with them, especially when you know that either they win or the argument takes a totally different path which eventually backfires on you. The question is whether you want to be the son your mothers wants you to be or do you want to stand up for yourself and make all the decisions. Think about it, you are screwed either ways. At the end of the day, none of this matters because you crave for the yummiest meal cooked by your mother. I guess some battles are worth losing, after all.

Tags: featured, full-image, mother-son relationship

Category: Family & Relationships, Health