I recently stumbled upon an article in the Postnoon regarding Hyderabad and the increase in surrogate mothers being sought out there. One of the principal reasons behind this is the economics of it all… it’s pretty much one of the best and cheapest places to ‘rent a womb’. Essentially that is what it’s all about. “Excuse me ma’am but does that uterus come with a place to park a placenta? It does. Great, we will rent it for the next nine months.”
One of the good things about surrogate, and the whole concept of procreation, is it insures the survival of humanity and the creation of more people who will cause even further traffic delays once they learn to drive. One of the things that always intrigued me about the process of surrogacy is how did someone determine the price? Did they compare it to the price of real estate in the local market? Did they calculate how many shoes and handbags they could buy? I could never really figure out what price a uterus goes for, especially in this economy.
Imagine you are flipping through the classifieds and you came across: ‘For Rent: One uterus. Almost like new. No previous occupants. Access to plumbing and power. Spacious interior (it can grow to suit your needs). Ideal for one but can fit up to eight. Ideal neighbourhood. Interested parties please apply by presenting an application, two letters of reference and first and last month’s deposit.’
Then you have to ask yourself, do you hire a woman who has done this before and has experience or do you get a girl who has never had to deal with stretch marks, swollen ankles, abstaining from alcohol and hormonal mood swings. Can you imagine that advertisement: ‘For Rent: One uterus. Four previous occupants. All occupants gave a 5-Star rating. Accommodations include a Jacuzzi, 24-hour concierge and security. Prospective tenants please fill out and submit Form-UBNME with a non-refundable $75 fee. Successful applicants will be notified via Facebook.’
This got me thinking even more… what if, as a guy, I had the opportunity to rent out bits and pieces of my body. What would I rent and what would I charge? So I came up with the following possibilities:
While the above spreadsheet serves to demonstrate as an example of what little is available to rent and at what cost, it is by no means my attempt to publish or establish rates for the rental of male body parts. I am sure that nail polish will suit me but no thank you; I am not going to try on anymore nail polish!