Ganesh’s daring revelation of his childhood sex abuse opens up a new path that other male victims could take. Hiding only fans the issue, speak out and you are free
Since the time city-based fashion designer Ganesh Nallari shared flashes of his traumatic past in childhood sexploitation in Aamir Khan’s show he has been flooded with emails and messages and people asking him how he felt meeting Aamir Khan and how was the feeling of being aired on such big show. Jee, people want to know how he felt being in a big star’s show!
Ganesh spoke as one of the survivors of the child abuse on the show, the episode was on child sexual abuse.
“For me it was not at all easy to discuss this on a public forum my true intention was to spread awareness and if even one child is saved through me it’s worth. I was not there to meet the star or gain any publicity. In fact after the show there are times when people in city give me weird looks and feels sympathetic towards me which is quite embarrassing for me” said, Ganesh.
I was not there because of Amir Khan I would have shared my views to anyone who approached me. I was there to spread some awareness among general public through my experience. Even before Satyamev Jayate my story was told through a film I AM, however, it was just a small part of the trauma I went through. Ganesh opens up with Postnoon, shares his experience and the way he came out of the trauma.
The Childhood trauma
I don’t remember the age when it actually started. I was like any other child in those days who was not aware of the word child sexual abuse. It took me 17 years to understand that I was sexually abused by my own uncle. My childhood was not like any other child of my age. There were times when I used to be afraid of staying alone in home as my uncle used to abuse me that time. My grandfather was not keeping well those days and my parents often went to visit him in the hospital and that was the time my uncle used me sexually.
Shared the news
I was a shy kid. I never use to talk too much or share my views to anyone. It was in 2009 when my parents came to know about it before the release of I AM. There was an article related to the movie in one of the newspapers and that’s how my parents came to know about it.
As any parent they were shocked to know about it but thanks to them they have always stood by me and supported me in whatever I did.
I used to live in a joint family and one day we had a fight in my family, and I packed my bag and left home. My parents were away. I went to a relative’s home and my parents when came to know of it they supported me.
I studiously avoided uncle in many occasions. Then I finally shifted to Bangalore for my dental course and that’s how I saved myself.
Victims of male child sexual abuse are assumed to be gay which is false
In the patriarchal setup we live in most of the times male child sex abuse remains hidden and disbelieved. The reality is stark and most of the times male sex victims are assumed to be gay. A common myth is men can’t be sexually abused and he could have stopped it if he really want to. It is assumed that the survivor must have consented because sexual abuse doesn’t happen to real men. The truth is we have a powerful and pervasive belief system that keeps male survivors silent and ashamed.
Overcome the trauma
After completion of my dental I worked in Bangalore for some years and then it was time for me to come back to Hyderabad. I joined NIIFT here and that was a turning point in my life. I was a topper student and designing gave me my life back. I kept myself always busy in some or the other work.
I learned classical dancing, I started fashion designing and I use to take art workshops in schools. On the death bed of his abuser, Ganesh went and told him he had pardoned him. There ended a traumatic past. I am a happy-go-lucky person. I live my life to the fullest. My past is a closed chapter of my life now.
I request every parent to learn to listen to their kids never ignore saying it they don’t know anything. Thanks to the internet and media today’s kids are more matured and well aware about many things unlike us.
I request the schools to give sex education in schools it will only help the kids to know what is right and what is wrong.
Send your kids to workshops and classes where they can learn more about sex education it’s a need of the hour.