What men really want

A few Hyderabadi youngsters answer questions on exactly what turns them on and off

Ladies, aren’t you tired of sitting on the edge of your bed, biting at your fingernails, constantly checking to make sure the ringer on your cell phone hasn’t been accidentally silenced? Do you glare at its screen, as if you’re possessed, eagerly waiting for a text response? Are you baffled trying to figure out just what men are looking for in women? What attracts them and keeps them interested? No worries, you are not alone! Thanks to a few brave soldiers who opened their hearts, we find out exactly what turns them on and off, if they believe in true love and soul mates, what is mostly important to them and what makes them fall in and out of love.

Meet our brave Hyderabadis:

Satish Kumar Nalla, age 25, Technical Analyst

Taurus, age 29, Engineer

Sharat Chandra, age 25, Process Developer

Siddarth Reddy, age 20, College Student

Kona: In one sentence, explain what is the type of girl that peaks your interest?

Satish: A cute bubbly girl with a down to earth mentality.

Taurus: Beauty with brains.

Sharat: A working woman is a must. Mostly interested in a woman with the traditional Indian look.

Siddarth: Someone who is funny and with who I can have a good conversation and share interests. I want to enjoy life with this person.

 

Kona: In your opinion, what is real love? What is the difference between say, attraction and love? Does true love exist? Do you believe love can only strike once in your lifetime? Do you believe in soul mates?

Satish: Real love is having complete trust and faith in each other, and mutual understanding. If I see a good looking girl at a party who is cute, the feeling I have for her is ‘like’. If I see the same girl, and I think she’s hot, I think what I have for her is ‘attraction’. If I wish to know more about her, and if I want to be with that girl, if I’m considering sharing my life with her, then it’s ‘love’. Yes, I do think true love still exists, and love can happen many times. And, yes, I believe in soul mates.

Taurus: Yes, I believe in real love, soul mates, and love can happen more than once in a lifetime. Love is respect, responsibility and mutual understanding. Like is physical and superficial. Attraction is instant, like under a spell. Love is the long term result.

Sharat: No. I don’t believe in real love—I don’t think it exists. Attraction is only a short-term state of mind, that’s all. I think if you meet someone, and if you’re compatible, you begin to feel a connection, and start to care about them.

Siddarth: Love begins with your eyes and ends in your heart. When you look at someone for the first time, you should feel something in your mind, and in your heart. Love is when you can’t stop that certain feeling and you can’t hold yourself back. Love just happens. Suddenly, without knowing. Attraction is only an instant emotion, based solely on looks, but love takes longer to appear. I think love is when you like everything about someone, inside and out, even their flaws. Everything about them seems perfect and you can’t imagine living without them, you would do anything for them. YES! I believe in true love.

 

Kona: These days many girls can be seen kicking back with the boys with a bottled beer in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. Does this type of girl interest you more, because it’s a sign of modern times? Or do you prefer a woman who is conservative?

Satish: No, I don’t like girls who hold a beer in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. Girls should be trendy and modern, but should possess innocence too. I like women who are a bit conservative, but I also want someone who can join me in the fun, and can still be a lady at the end of the night.

Taurus: I’m a pretty liberal kind of guy. I want someone who knows how to easily blend with different characters, in any occasion or situation.

Sharat: I want a woman who is conservative and who can join in the fun, and is not considered as the party pooper. But there should be some difference between how a male and a female parties.

Siddarth: I want her to enjoy life with me. I want her to be in her limits, but I don’t want to seem controlling.

 

Kona: What do you prefer—modern apparel, which can sometimes be baring much skin or traditional wear?

Satish: I prefer a woman who dresses well, according to the social scene.

Taurus: Woman can wear anything if they can carry it off. They should be proficient in this department and know when to wear what.

Sharat: I feel Indian traditional clothing is not as old-fashioned as it used to be, and still has a lot to offer to fulfill their attire needs, for every occasion.

Siddarth: Depends on the scene, as long as she carries herself with dignity.

 

Kona: Do men prefer women who are self-sufficient and independent or women who depend on their man for the “manly” things like changing a tire, fixing a leaky faucet, lifting heavy objects?

Satish: Women should be self-sufficient, independent, and be able to manage family responsibilities also.

Taurus: No way! I would never be intimidated. We all are equal, and more over, high-powered and self sufficiency is new sexy.

Sharat: I feel a couple is stronger together, than alone. ‘Together’ is the key word—and helping each other in every aspect. A couple should feel they can depend on each other. Neither is complete without each other.

Siddarth: I want someone who knows how to be independent, but I don’t mind being THE guy that my girl leans on.

 

Kona: Name five characteristics you feel that a woman MUST have

Satish: Good looks, loyalty, modesty, jovial, funny with bit of attitude.

Sharat: Bold, traditional, personable (mostly with elders), educated, career woman.

Siddarth: Independence, uniqueness, strength, confidence, playful.

 

Kona: What action completely turns you off?

Satish: Disloyalty

Taurus: Bad hygiene and bad manners

Sharat: Money-mindedness

Siddarth: Selfishness

 

Kona: How do you feel about going dutch (each paying their own share) when on a date? Or do you still believe that a gentleman should always handle the bill?

Satish: I believe that a gentleman should always handle the bill while on date.

Taurus: Dutch builds a relationship.

Sharat: Yes! Be a gentleman.

Siddarth: A gentleman always pays … no matter what, somehow, even if he doesn’t have a rupee in his pocket.

 

Kona: Do you feel women put more importance on how much money men make? Would you ever date someone who was in a much higher position than you and made twice as much money?

Satish: Not all women, but a few do focus on how much money men make. I don’t have any issues dating someone who is in a much higher position than me, or who makes twice as much salary than me.

Taurus: The more power the women have, the more fun.

Sharat: I’m not lavish. Yes, I feel women put more importance in money.

Siddarth: Not all women are money-minded. When you find the right girl, the person you are, and how you care for her will be her first preference.

 

Kona: Would it hurt your pride if you were on a date and a woman whipped out her credit card to pay for a dinner at a five star hotel?

Satish: Yes, It would hurt my pride.

Taurus: Can it get any better than this?

Sharat: Yes, it’s very embarrassing.

Siddarth: You have to be understanding of a girl’s feelings first. Maybe she wants to feel like an equal. So, if she’s insistent about it, then it’s better to respect her wishes, if that makes her happy. But I still believe a girl should always be treated like a princess… so I would opt to pay all the time.

 

Kona: Do you appreciate a woman that takes the initiative and asks you out? Or would you rather be the one to initiate the conversation?

Satish: I like to be the one to initiate the conversation. However, I do appreciate a woman who takes the initiative and asks me out for coffee or to dinner.

Taurus: I would love it.

Sharat: I like a woman who takes the initiative, once in a while. But I’m a true gentleman, so if it’s “date” then I would prefer a woman to wait for me to approach and plan out the evening.

Siddarth: It’s fine by me, as long as there is mutual interest to spend time together.

Kona: Based on your experience, name a few reasons why you think a relationship doesn’t work.

Satish: Not being loyal to each other, misunderstandings, inferiority complex, not valuing the relationship.

Taurus: A relationship works only when both sides mutually understand each other.

Sharat: Lack of understanding and miscommunication.

Siddarth: When communication stops.

 

Kona: Can you accept a girl who has already had pre-marital relations? Do you believe in the traditional idea of consummating a relationship only after marriage?

Satish: Yes, I believe in the traditional culture of consummating a relationship only after marriage. Yes, I do believe that there are still women out there who have not done the deed, and are waiting until marriage.

Taurus: Love has no boundaries and tradition is active and happening. Traditional values are important for better society.

Siddarth: When you love someone you love everything about them, and this should be a deciding factor in accepting their love. I do believe there are many women who are still waiting… and there is nothing wrong that. But ask me if men are waiting. I think the answer is different.

Even in this high-tech, fast-paced, cyber city, our respondents show us that underneath all that muscle and tough exterior, men are truly romantics at heart, but may not know always how to express it. Especially, if they are not asked to. They are a direct species. We, ladies, just need to be more communicative. And they all basically crave the same as women do; friendship, communication, compatibility, genuineness—a true connection, chemistry, and most importantly trust and mutual understanding. They show us ladies that we shouldn’t judge as quickly as we do.

 

Tags: men, women

Category: Blogs, Kona's Korner