Civilized is defined as ‘having a high state of culture and development both social and technological as well as showing evidence of moral and intellectual advancement’. Intelligent is defined as ‘showing sound judgment and rationality; having the capacity for thought and reason especially to a high degree’. Now why do I bring up these two words? These two words are among few others that we (and by we I mean National Geographic Channel) like to use to describe ourselves, especially when making a comparison to a group of indigenous ‘jungle’ people who have no idea what a TV is, run around wearing nothing more than a stick and still sacrifice animals in hopes that it rains. And there is a rather large sum of people who would agree with the National Geographic people; however, I ask you this. If we are so ‘intelligent and civilized’ then why do some people still burn their toast?
Really people, all you have to do is put two slices of bread in, push down on the handle, and wait for it to turn brown before releasing the handle. It is that simple, yet ‘we the civilized and intelligent people of today’ still manage to burn toast! And as simple as it seems, the UN has published its latest reports with some unsettling data, suggesting that 10 per cent of the world’s population are Chronic Toast Burners (CTB), and the condition is growing at a rapid rate as more and more people are being distracted by sending text message.
Our technological capabilities have advanced to the point where messages that once took days to reach can be done in an instant, meals can be prepared in minutes rather than hours, instant gratification can be accomplished at the click of a mouse, but yet, we still can’t create a toaster that won’t burn the bread!
But, alas, why should it be the toaster’s fault? The toaster does have a setting that allows you to control the time and heat level, however our ‘intelligent’ society still can’t figure out whether #1 means ‘just warm the bread and still keep it white/wheat’ or ‘make the toaster so hot that it instantly converts bread to tar which can be used to fill potholes’ (but who needs that since Belize has no potholes). Rather than having numbers on the side, wouldn’t it be easier to put two symbols on the side, one being a smiley face ?, indicating that the person making the toast is happy because his toast wasn’t burnt, and the other symbol being fireman’s helmet, indicating that the use of this setting will result in smoke being produced, a fire being started, and the possibility of civil unrest.
Some have attempted to defend themselves by stating that they simply stepped away or turned their back on the toaster for couple of seconds and when they came back it was ruined. To those people I say, “Please don’t drive!” Look around people, the world is facing a medical pandemic, the economy has seen better days, crime is on the rise and why is all of this happening? It’s happening because we still aren’t ‘intelligent and civilized’ enough to make toast!
For the record, the last time I burnt a piece of toast was April 15, 2005, and it wasn’t my fault. The toaster was upset at me for paying more attention to the microwave oven.